Camila went to bed last night around 9:30 and Cesar and I had planned that if she woke up at 2am for her Tete we would try to ignore the request. I am happy to report she did not ask for her bottle. She woke up around 7am but was crying a lot., we gave her a bottle. We bathed her and she was not very happy but we were able to go down for breakfast around 9. She started laughing and seemed to be ok. She ate eggs, caldo(kinda like beef soup but light..not sure how to translate), arepita and even pancakes.. of course all in small quantities : )
After breakfast the social worker came to visit us. I was afraid Camila would start crying ad would want to leave with her but she didn't. When she saw her she was happy to se her but she never left my side. We talked with her and played with Camila at the same time. We talked for a while and she said that it was awesome to see that she was adjusting well but that we needed to work in getting Camila to be close to Cesar. She gave us advise and said I should give them alone time so they can also bond. When she got up to leave Camila grabbed me and started saying mama, mama. I think she thought that maybe she would take her away as she did on Tuesday. The same social worker was the one that brough her to the ICBF when we got her. It amazes me how little she is and yet she remembers and we can tell how afraid she is of us leaving her, or just staying alone.
After the social worker left we went back to the room and we played with her and everything seemed to be fine. We chnaged and went to the pool for a while. We decided we would try the pool to have her be alone with Cesar. She was so upset with me. She cried and cried because she wanted me to hold her, me to play with her, only me. I tried to talk to her and tell her she needed to be nice to daddy because she would throw her hands at him, push him away. We changed and we went to have lunch. She was upset with Cesar so she would not even look at him. She was sleepy and tired by then. We got back in the room and I left for a little but she never stopped crying while I was gone. She would just say mama, mama over and over again. Cesar tried to calm her down but she did not want anything but mommy. I came back and she clung to me... I put her to bed and she rapidly fell asleep.
When she woke up we went to the mall and the grocery store. She was very upset with Cesar, now it was worse. She was crying all the time,very sad and would not look at Cesar. We went to the grocery store and she trew a temper tantrum. We tried to ignore her to see what she would do but she would not stop crying. I tried talking to her because I gotta tell you she understands everything, but nothing she was just not interested. We came back to the hotel, we got dinner and eventually she started to play with Cesar again. She was playing but she had a sad face. I really do not think she had a good day today.
My parents called me via skype at around 6, Camila was not very friendly but at least they were able to see her! Right after that call she started crying again. We got her in the shower, put her pijamas on and off to bed, She was very tired and with the crying she was ready!! We put her to bed and she did not want to lay on it so I held her while she took her bottle was finally able to put her in bed about 30 min later. She would grab me and would not let go. We are thinking that she was associating this afternoon when I left with ging to bed. She was holding on to me as if I was going to leave! My poor baby!!!
I was suppose to connect via Skype with my brother, cousin and brother in law but it was impossible with Camila crying so we will try again tomorrow.
In looking back at all that happened today my heart aches because I know she is suffering and who knows all the things she is thinking,what she is feeling.. Although I respect all the things the social worker told me, I really believe it is too early to try to impose things to her. I know eventually she will come around I have seen how she has her honeymoon moments with her dad but I wish it was more! My heart also ached for Cesar. I know even though we are adults and we understand it still hurts. I hope tomorrow is better!!
That is all for today,
Estela
No comments:
Post a Comment